Not Starving to Death

I'm not a very experienced cook. Or housekeeper in general. I tend to eat most of my meals out for either convince or laziness. My refrigerator is both barren and rotting, like the Blight from the Wheel of Time. But tonight maybe because I had accomplished nothing else all day, maybe due to some kind of inspiration, but probably just because inclement weather kept me from driving to get food, I cooked.
So for anyone else who can barely sustain themselves as an adult human, here is a very simple and fairly tasty recipe.

Step one: fry onions. Honestly this is step one in pretty much anything I cook. This time it was special since I decided to fry the onions in curry flavored coconut oil. Generally I use butter, but 1) coconut oil is supposed to be good for you (unlike butter) and 2) the coconut oil did not seem to have gone off (unlike my butter). Generally I would recommend cooking the onions for like five minutes until they get a little soft. But I rushed it since I was nervous/excited for step two:

Step two: fry other stuff. In this case, zucchini and lentils. The zucchini were the brave survivors of my refrigerator (unlike the broccoli and kale). As for the lentils I had originally envisioned making pasta, but having to boil the noodles in a whole separate dish which I would then have to wash seemed like too much of a pain. So then I thought of frying/cooking the pasta in with the sauce. I wasn't quite sure this was an actual legitimate way to cook pasta, and as I reflected on this I remembered that it was a normal way to cook lentils. Plus those lentils have been living in my cupboard forever. God bless dried goods. Anyway, keep frying those for a while.

Step three: add other stuff. Basically this other stuff falls into two categories: flavorings and tomatoes. For some reason I love pretty much any tomato based sauce. Stir fry doesn't always feel like a meal to me, but by adding a can of tomatoes and putting on a grain, all of a sudden it's a meal. So for flavor I added salt, pepper, two chopped cloves of garlic, dried oregano and basil, and a cinnamon stick. The tomatoes were a simple can of diced tomatoes. I also added about a canful of water.

Step four: leave it be. Ok so first I stirred it and looked at it. Then I brought the whole thing to a boil (raise the temperature and wait) and then lowed the temperature and covered the wok with a lid. Then I went and watched videos on the internet for a while. At one point I added another spoonful of curry flavored coconut oil. But basically I just wasted time until the water had reduced and the lentils so longer felt like little rocks,

Step five: enjoy. I garnished (and by that I mean smothered) a bowlful with parmesan cheese. I would have liked to have had buttered toast, but sadly that was not possible. All in all it was tasty and not too stressful to make. Plus I hear lentils are good for you.

Podcast 1 (Sad Songs)

TeaInACan and SardonicQueen present to you our long awaited recorded conversation about sad songs. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: No conclusions were made. We like to laugh at our own jokes so don't worry if you don't think we are funny